Friday, September 08, 2006

Not a Scaredcat 1

In human years I am 13, I have big green eyes and a lush brown and black coat, I'm single, my name is appropriately Cassanova. I let the humans move in with me when I was about 6 months old, the woman was the first to fall under my spell. It was very easy to manipulate her into feeding me. I had been guarding a building of some birds that had moved into the neighborhood when she first saw me. I knew I had her at Meow. She tried to feed me some type of food out of a bag, I laughed at her. She brought out some type of cheese product, I am lactose intolerant, finally she brought me some meat, as I am a carnivore. The moment she touched my lush fur, she was hooked. I tested her by running between her legs, I wanted to know if she fell easily, I can't have a clumsy human.. she passed the test. I played hard to get for the first couple of days, this is a great trick to play on humans, they are stupid and will continue to try feeding you..... I happen to love food and I play the game well. In the beginning it was only my beautiful new human a miniture version of her and the man (I laugh in the face of the man!). Our life together was turning out to be almost like a fairy tale. I had noticed that my woman was getting larger in her mid section, I figured she liked to eat and had assumed she was gorging on some type of meat to get so large and then she sent me away. I had no idea that the ride was to some insane humans home, she deceived me, she lead me to believe I was her one and only, only to have her dump me off with that evil human. The next time I saw her I noticed that she must have been suffering from an eating disorder as her stomach was no longer sticking out and to my dismay she allowed another human to move in, it was very small and made a lot of noise. I won't tell about the evil man, as it is too hurtful for me to delve into the past, he was the scum of the earth and I laugh in the face of his torture. The mini human did not seem to have any type of schedule and would make noise at all of the wrong times. The woman called the little human a baby but I think he was working for some organization that tries to rid homes of sleep. He smelled insanely horrible at times. He had not figured out how to use the human litter box and had a terrible habit of sitting in his smell... what a wretched thing to make such a smell and racket. The little human started growing and learned to walk on all fours like me. The baby smelled of milk, I like the smell of milk but if you get to close to a baby they want to touch you with their sticky little paws. The mini girl human was wrapped around my paw too. She would hold me and rub my head, it was lucky for me that she was short, as she carried me around by the neck with my feet dragging the floor... just a little nip with the teeth and she would run off making horrible noise but would leave me to my sleep.

The man, oh the man human, I laugh at the thought of him. I see him look at my woman, he desires her and I laugh at him, he doesn't know that I am her true love. When he comes in the room his jealousy is obvious, that is why he wants me to leave the room. He is jealous of my beauty, my animal magnetism and my gracefulness. My woman shows him attention, but I think it is to throw him off as to how I am her love. The man is no match for me, I can take him. I have it planned out, one day as he is coming down the stairs I will finally trip him and he will fall, any my woman will no longer share her feelings with another. I laugh at the danger.

I could go on for hours and hours about me but I am feeling a nap coming on. I will tell you more wonderful stories. If you have any questions for me, just post them and I will try to answer you as soon as I can. I am a wonderful advise giver.

Until we meet again....

Darling C.

2 comments:

Christina said...

Wow... That is an amazing story. The things that you have gone through in your life! Can't wait to hear more.

Anonymous said...

Cassanova,,,,Your my kinda kitty. I hope we meet again when I will fluff your tail and skratch behind the ears and kiss your whole face..............Aunt cindie